1A. The First Person on the Dance Floor at a Wedding Reception

I've been doing a lot of thinking since the first post, and what has become apparent is this: I don't want to be some butt dart Steve ripping on people in every post. In addition to calling out those who need our help, it is also my responsibility to tip our collective hat to those under-appreciated by the masses. We'll kick off the positive portion of this blog by giving a fist bump to the first person on the dance floor at a wedding reception.

Case Study:

Samantha, 28, is in attendance for the wedding reception of her boss' daughter. The only people Samantha knows at the reception are Brock (her boss), and Steve, her co-worker who still inserts pennies in his loafers and will more than likely hit on her later in the evening. Samantha is single, and the only reason she came to the reception at all is because Steve told her he overheard their boss say he's considering giving her a small raise...and the open bar from 3-4. Samantha has survived dinner, the emotional and awkward toasts, and the first dance. Brown-eyed Girl, the Van Morrison cover band with body language that screams We are so above this, has kicked into "Domino," yet something is wrong. The dance floor is empty. People are standing around the dance floor--Steve is even tapping his penny loafer to the beat--but no one moves, and for good reason. There is nothing more socially perilous than strutting onto the dance floor first. And yet, something inside Samantha--something foreign to most of us (it's called courage)--compels her to cross the line and dance alone...for the entire song.

Observations:

1. Don't get me wrong, many people will eventually dance, but only a few extraordinary individuals, such as Samantha, have the courage and true confidence to cross the line separating carpet and parquet. In that moment when the band plays and no one makes the move to the floor, we all are reduced to high school sophomores. Everyone instantly falls back into playing the Cool Game, in which all decisions are filtered through the simple question: Will this make me look like a d-bag in any person's eyes? Anyone at all?

2. Samantha gets bonus points for going it alone. It's one thing when an old couple goes out there and dances like they did at sock hops (how big of a Steve do you have to be to make fun of them?); it's entirely something else when someone like Samantha goes out there. Here's why:

a. She's completely aware that no-one but Steve and Brock know who the hell she is.

b. She knows there are women--her age and older--that are whispering Is she married? or Who did she come with? Yet Samantha pays them no mind. You want to know what real confidence looks like? Look at Samantha dancing like a puppet being played with by a two year-old.

c. Yes, Samantha's had a few drinks, but the world would be a much better place if liquid courage took the form off happy, albeit painfully awkward dancing. She's not a puker, a crier, or a philosopher drunk. She's a dancing drunk, and there just aren't enough of those around these days.

d. When young couples go out and get the commoner dancing going, it's cute or romantic; but solo Samantha has just willfully put a flag over her head that says There's an outside shot that I will make a scene at some point tonight. She takes on that challenge, and before you know it she's anointed the Pied Piper of the wedding.


Reaching Out:

Everyone has been to a wedding reception where no one dances, and you know what? Those receptions suck. Those are the receptions where half of the fun people have left after a few hours to go sit at a bar (I've always hated this move). Guess what, the decision to go to the bar is made very early in the night, and by all of us. If the party gets off to a good start at the reception, it becomes the place to be. It becomes the place where by dancing we say let's get a little weird...it's been a while.

I challenge you, my fellow social environmentalists. I challenge you to be the Samantha when no Samantha presents herself. I challenge you to have the courage to save the reception. I challenge you to be stared at, laughed at even, because you know what must be done. You know that you're the only one who is up to the task, and I challenge you to do so knowing you will probably never receive the thank you you deserve from the bride and groom. I challenge you to make their wedding not suck.

6/10/08

In addition to writing this blog, Phil is a member of the band Bloomsday Rising. Go to link to find additional information, videos, music, and more.

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